Fake News, Fake Art – let's reopen THE PROPOSAL
After six years spent hopelessly fighting on the capitalist market, once more, the water’s up to my neck. I had to lay low with my gallery THE PROPOSAL while loosing my unrepeated onetime success TOO FAT TO FAIL to deflation. The only thing that saved me: an invitation from Swatch to their artist’s residence in Shanghai.
At the very same time, in Venice, another man came out of hiding: Damien Hirst, richest artist in the world, celebrated «Young British Artist» of the 1990ies, and famous for his skillful monetary machinations in the art market, bankrolls his own comeback to the tune of 50 million pounds.
Conclusion: To be successful as an artist, I need money. A lot of it! With your help, I will be the world’s leading Hirst dealer and can thus open a new gallery space for THE PROPOSAL.
DAMIEN HIRST IN FRONT OF THE AQUARIUM 
DAMIEN HIRST INSIDE THE AQUARIUM 
DAMIEN HIRST INSIDE HIS PACKAGING
www.damienhirst.sale
My business plan trumps it all. Ever since the 90ies, a Hirst is an absolute MUST for every art collector’s bathroom. MY Hirst sits on his toilet in your toilet. You may use it to display toilet paper or as a design object in your shower – my action-figure-size Hirst made of resin upcycles every bathroom.
More powerful still is the life-size Hirst, also available. An eyecatcher for your loft, the lobby of a private bank or the trending new pop-up gallery – the 300-kilogram sculpture constitutes any art collector’s ideal status symbol.
A HIRST UPCYCLES EVERY BATHROOM 
THE HIRST FOR YOUR TOILET PAPER 
BECOMING AN ART MOGUL WITH THE HELP OF DAMIEN 
ACTION-FIGURE-SIZE vs. REAL-SIZE
In the Shower with Damien
My Hirsts are produced in a small, exquisite factory – certified by alibaba.com – near Hangzhou City. The Chinese wax figure manufacturers succeed in creating astonishingly real designs. The protoype of the sculpture will be handmade, no 3D-printing involved, it’s going to be my body and Damien’s head.
Be sure to get a first-edition Hirst at an absolutely amazing special price, delivered in a authentic window-packaging and support my gallery project.
My Hirsts are 100% handmade in China, cheaper and more durable than any other Hirst you can find on the art market – I can vouch for it with my full name Jeremie Jean-Ferdinand Maret.
And Damien is only the beginning …
